Accomplices of Bullies

On this page I will attempt to explain why so many people get sucked into a bully's vortex in the first place, but I must admit that I don't fully understand it myself - the following is a result of a great deal of research and digging for information, but I didn't actually get much testimony from former or current followers of bullies because they were mostly unwilling to talk about it, even if they admitted to being guilty in the past. Ashamed or in denial, I expect.

To anyone who recognizes themselves while reading the following: You do not have to live like this. It's your choice to have freedom or continued slavery, and you know what you have to do. This person in your life does not care about you or anybody else, and you are well aware of this, deep down.  If you are afraid to dump your "friend", get some therapy and build up your self-confidence before you break away, but please break away soon. 

While to all outward appearances intelligent and possibly successful at their jobs, many willing followers of bullies rarely like to think for themselves. This is usually why they are picked as hench-people in the first place, and also why they may get promoted at work - everyone knows (in the corporate world at least) that management doesn't always like to promote competent people because they might be a threat to the status quo. The same principle applies to Pagan bullying. 

Many supporters of bullies are gullible, pure and simple. Although strong evidence of the bully's real agenda might be readily available to these people, they will only see what they want to see - that the bully is a kind, wonderful person and their target is pure evil, to be driven screaming from the community as quickly as possible. 

Some become Pagan to find belonging in a spiritual community, and often for the first time in their lives, a few end up becoming part of the "cool" crowd of Pagans. While most people in this position see this as no big deal, other, less emotionally mature people really get off on the power that comes with it and relish their ability to reject people from "The Inner Circle". This is usually because they themselves were rejected by the "cool kids" in high school and other places, and they are externalizing their pain - treating others the way they were treated makes them feel better in a perverse and twisted way. A few sad people are so desperate to be associated with "cool" Pagans that they will accept an incredible amount of abuse, both of themselves and others in order to fit in. They can and will do anything to avoid being rejected by the cool crowd (having taken so long to break into it) and will happily support someone they know is a bully if they see them as their "coolness source" or if other people with power in the community support the bully.

As should be obvious, many accomplices of bullies have very low self-esteem. Helping to bully someone else, even by being part of a crowd, gives them a false sense of confidence and power.

Sometimes people will begin to bully another if they think someone else they like and/or respect doesn't like that person for some reason. For example, if a High Priestess of a coven says something negative about certain individual, some of her followers might decide to ignore and/or exclude that person in order to please the High Priestess. The HP might have no idea that she accidentally led her coven-mates to bully someone, and so there may be no viable way to fix the problem.

Certain Pagan sects like to be seen as "tough" and so are more likely in some ways to bully, even inadvertently. Accomplices of the main bully might be afraid of showing "weakness" (real meaning -  compassion) in front of their peers, even if they believe that what they are doing is wrong.

Some people rationalize that if they are one of the bully's best friends, they are immune from their attacks.

Followers in some cases may be covert bullies themselves, but are too lazy to conduct their own reign of terror. Instead they join forces with a more aggressive bully so they can express their negativity while enjoying safety in numbers.

Sometimes accomplices have experienced abuse from a bully in their own past. Rather than dealing with the emotions involved in healing this aspect of their psyche, they participate in the bullying of others because they see the situation in black and white - they can either bully, or be bullied. The less mature individuals choose to bully, but if they're not bold enough to do it themselves they end up serving a Queen or King Bee.

Many bullies are very charismatic, charming (when they feel like it) and often have overwhelming personalities. Some people are particularly susceptible to this combination, and like members of a cult, very easily fall under their spell. Everything their leader says or does is perfectly justified and reasonable, no matter how outrageous it is, because they are who they are and their actions are not to be questioned. This is the most dangerous type of follower, because they will do whatever their leader tells them to - think of the Manson "family" if you don't believe me.

It's not unusual to find extended "families" of bullies in the community. Once the bully befriends a person they may discourage them from associating with "outsiders" (including family members) because they "just don't understand" them - in fact, this could include anyone the bully perceives as a threat to themselves. The bully thus controls what everyone hears, who they talk to in the Pagan community, and in some cases, what they think about. These poor saps have been brainwashed, and not likely to wake up anytime soon. This of course is verging on cult behaviour, and it's downright scary how common this is in Paganism.